DBT 10: Letting Go of Negative Emotions

This section provides some techniques for letting go of emotional suffering. The best way to get rid of painful and negative emotions is to let them go. Letting go of emotional suffering associated with negative emotions is not the same thing as letting go of the emotions themselves. Letting go of the suffering is a process that we can learn.  We do not mean pushing away or sitting on the emotions. The emotions are valid, and represent experiences and interactions that were or are painful. What we are talking about is dealing with these emotions in a new way that will relieve some of the suffering that goes with them.

In learning to let go of our emotional suffering, we use our mindfulness skills, the observe and describe skills. We learn to get some distance from our emotions, to stand back and observe them. Try getting some distance from a painful emotion that you have. Put it over there and look at it, maybe as if it were on a screen or a stage. Describe in words what the experience of that emotion is like. This also helps to give you distance and perspective. By looking at your emotions, you are exposing yourself to them, looking and describing, not necessarily acting on them, and not being swallowed by or overwhelmed by them.

OBSERVE YOUR EMOTION
NOTE its presence
Step BACK
Get UNSTUCK from the emotion

EXPERIENCE YOUR EMOTION
As a WAVE, coming and going
Try not to BLOCK emotion
Try not to SUPPRESS emotion
Don't try to GET RID of emotion
Don't PUSH it away
Don't try to KEEP emotion around
Don't HOLD ON to it
Don't AMPLIFY it

REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTION
Do not necessarily ACT on your emotion.
Remember times when you have felt DIFFERENT

PRACTICE LOVING YOUR EMOTION
Don't JUDGE your emotion. Practice WILLINGNESS
Radically ACCEPT your emotion